Becoming a Prayer Warrior

Prayer has always been hard for me. Maybe because it’s such an abstract thing.

Reading my Bible is different. It’s concrete and tangible. It’s measurable.

But prayer? 

Prayer is so…slippery.

I’ve always talked to and heard from God, as long as I can remember, but praying consistently and diligently has never been something I’ve been very good at.

Growing up in church, I had learned the acronym “ACTS” (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication), and I remember in college spending time in the dorm prayer chapel praying (and falling asleep) every morning for a short season.

After my first year of college, I was a chaperone on our summer youth missions trip and the church we were helping had prayer services that lasted for what seemed like hours. I learned to pray out loud to keep my mind from wandering. And prayed in tongues when I didn’t know what else to say.

But it wasn’t until after I had graduated with my master’s degree that I really felt like I learned how to pray. My husband was the youth pastor at the church we were attending and it was hard. work. (But that’s a story for another time). My favorite part of that church was when we attended the senior’s Sunday school that was taught by a wise gentleman.

One Sunday, he passed around copies of a “prayer wheel”.

I had never seen such a thing. I was so excited and also outraged that I was an adult before I ever knew such a thing existed (and I grew up in a church!).

I didn’t pray for an hour and I still didn’t pray every day, but I had a focus to my prayer life and I was more consistent than I had been before. I kept the prayer wheel folded up in the front of my Bible and used it as a visual guide during my prayer time.

A couple years later, I taught a class at PWOC and created a simplified version of the prayer wheel. I found what I had been lacking in my prayer life when using the “ACTS” acronym was the “waiting” part. But I realized that it wasn’t just waiting on God that was so vital, it was taking time to consciously submit to God.

My prayer life was better than it had ever been before, but I still was missing a critical piece. I was really bad at praying for other people. I didn’t even pray for my husband regularly. I felt like I had too many people on my prayer list to pray for everyone everyday with any sort of conviction or intentionality. And how would I choose who to pray for each day? And what was I going to do, pray the same prayer for each person every day? That seemed pointless to me. God already knew anyways, right?

I knew I needing to work on this area of my life, so when PWOC offered a Bible Study based on Fervent, by Priscilla Shirer, I was all in. The Bible Study was the stuff PWOC dreams are made of: everyone was sincere, transparent and humble, sharing their experiences as we worked through the book. The facilitator was challenging and led by example, and we had women in diverse seasons of life sharing their perspectives.

I started a prayer journal and wrote out prayers for myself, my husband and my children. I made a list of close family members and friends that I knew I needed to pray for, but I was still at a loss of how to tackle what seemed like an impossible choice– who to pray for each day?

One of the ladies in our Bible study, a local missionary and seasoned woman of faith, had shared that whenever she was trying to figure out what church to reach out to next, she would write out the options on slips of paper, include one that said “stay home” and then she would “draw lots”. She told us that although it sounded silly, she always had important networking moments when she used this method of seeking God’s will and the days that she drew “stay home”, she found that she really needed the rest.

I was astounded, and also exhilarated. I remembered many years ago arguing why casting lots shouldn’t be viewed as an ignorant and archaic practice, but I still had never thought to use it as a way to seek God’s direction in my life.

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I was still struggling with how to pray for the people in my life, and this was the answer to my problem. I would let God decide who I should pray for each day. I took three envelopes, labeled them “My Family”, “Michael’s Family” and “Friends” and put the names of family and friends inside. I ended up with 9-12 names in each envelope.

At the time, I wasn’t getting up before my kids because the baby was still waking up every 3-4 hours to nurse and I was super sleep deprived, so during his morning nap, I had my toddler pull two names from each envelope and he “helped” me pray.

And let me tell you, this has been the most life-changing thing since reading A Woman After God’s Own Heart, by Elizabeth George (totally life-changing, I need to read it again).

Here’s what happened:

First of all, Samuel would pull names, we’d pray, and I’d find out later that the people we prayed for had specific things going on that they really needed prayer for that day.

Also, the odds were NOT “right”. There are 2 names I finally just added to my “pray for every day” list because their names would get pulled more than 50% of the time. They are two people who I worry about most because of what is going on in their lives, and I know that they need persistent prayer.

Finally, I could see my prayers making a difference in people’s lives. I have never felt so empowered in my life. I had always felt guilty about not praying for people. I knew it was so important, but just didn’t know how to start. It felt like an insurmountable mountain that I was unprepared and ill-equipped for.

I remember thinking if I prayed for people as much as I worried about them, we would all be in a better place.

Praying is still not easy for me. Having a visual guide helps keep me focused, and I still have to wrangle my attention every. single. day. But I’m not giving up because there is too much at stake.

I am armed with a weapon that can reach across oceans and break down strongholds. I’m not just fighting for myself, my marriage and my family, but for my future, my kids’ futures and my friend’s kids’ futures.

The prayers I pray today affect eternity.

I used to think I was just bad at praying, but I don’t believe that lie anymore.

One day at a time, I’m becoming a prayer warrior.